What It Means To Be Righteous

Christians know what it means to be righteous. In Genesis, Abram was given a deposit of righteousness because he had faith that though he and his wife were unable to conceive, he believed God's promise. And so we see in the New Testament both James and Paul pointing to Abraham as a guidepost to mark the path of those who seek to be righteous.

But faith in God's promise has a lot of consequences. And those who profess their unity and indivisibility with Christ need to see these consequences and understand how deep their faith needs to run.

See, I learned something recently, and it really clarified a few things to me.

Everything we do has consequences, not just externally but internally. In our daily lives, with our resources and our talents and our time and energy, our actions reinforce or destruct our nature, depending on what we have done (or failed to do).

Now, I am really only talking about Christians and their actions and inactions, for reasons that should be obvious here. Christians can walk the path of the righteous and can also walk a dangerous road that falls away from the true way, and really not even know it.

Again, going back to the OT, we can look at Psalm 14. Here's the NASB translation:

The fool has said in his heart, "There is no God." They are corrupt, they have committed abominable deeds; There is no one who does good.
The LORD has looked down from heaven upon the sons of men to see if there are any who understand, who seek after God.
They have all turned aside, together they have become corrupt; there is no one who does good, not even one.
Do all the workers of wickedness not know, who eat up my people as they eat bread, and do not call upon the Lord?
There they are in great dread, for God is with the righteous generation.
You would put to shame the counsel of the afflicted, but the LORD is his refuge.
Oh, that the salvation of Israel would come out of Zion! When the LORD restores His captive people, Jacob will rejoice, Israel will be glad.

Psalm 14 is a dirge, a lamentation that those whom God had set apart had fallen from the righteous way. But the first sentence seems to be at odds with the other thoughts of the Psalm: who among those whom God had set apart actually dared think that "there is no God"? In this case, the "fool" wasn't an atheist, since the latter would be few and far between during this time. The "fool" was he who acted as if God was not relevant with respect to that area or part of life that the fool wanted to control himself.

And I see this in my own life.

We who have so much, who have so much talent, so much wealth, so many ideas, so much energy and time, we guard these treasures we have amassed as if these were ours to control. We give when we feel stable enough to give, we help when we feel secure enough to help, and we protect ourselves because we have equity in our treasures. And then, we pray to God, that God might help us to keep us safe, to keep us from financial ruin or instability. It is all very foolish for certain, because there is no righteousness in asking God to protect a part of our lives where we do not allow God's sovereignty to reign.

The righteous will put their faith in God, in all things, and to them, God will credit righteousness.

I need to see this and put it into practice.

-David

Time To Move On

The hardest thing to do is to know what to do.

How do you know what to do? How do you know when to do whatever it is that you know you should do? And then, how do you know how to do whatever it is that you should do, when you know when you should do it?

There are no do-over's in life.

I am reminded of a story I read somewhere.

A long time ago, there lived a young man in a farming village. This young man was approaching the age where he was expected to take over his father's farm and start a family of his own. His parents were getting old and they were excited about their only son taking responsibility for not only his life, but the lives of everyone in the family.

The son also knew that his time to take his place was approaching, but there was a huge question that hovered over his head and stayed with him day and night. If he was to take over his father's farm, and start a family of his own, would he not have to choose his wife? Wouldn't a wife be necessary to start a family?

And so the young man kept his eyes open and tried to keep an open heart towards every girl that he knew. Some girls were already taken, others were not his type. But there was a girl that he had been close with for some time, since they were little kids. Was this the girl that the young man should marry? What would the girl say, if the young man asked?

So the young man brought the girl that he had been close with for some time to the lake where they often went to go for a swim in the summer or to fish when the weather was cooler. He brought her to the rock where they often sat and talked idly about this or that, but this time, he wanted to talk to her about serious things. They laid out a picnic to enjoy the sunshine and the cool breezes, but both knew inside their hearts that this wasn't going to be an easy conversation.

And after they had their meal and drink, they sat quietly, not really looking at each other.

The young man spoke first. "We've been friends for as long as I can remember. And we've been coming to this lake for longer than that." The young man paused for a bit, as if to wait for an answer. The girl did not respond; she knew better than to respond yet. After all, the young man never got to point directly when there was a difficult matter to discuss, and this was going to be one of those difficult conversations. The young man continued, "I always feel most at ease here. Here, on this rock, I can see into the past and remember, and I can see into the future and dream."


The girl was still quiet. She knew that the young man had something important to say. The young man shifted his weight and turned towards the fading sunlight, trying to gather the last bit of warmth before the sun went to bed for the night. The young man closed his eyes and sighed, "You and I, we aren't right for each other, are we?"

The girl said nothing. What could she say? If they were right for each other, wouldn't each of them know? And if they were right for each other, then why would he say the opposite? Besides, if she felt strongly the other way, then wouldn't she be objecting or feeling a strong sense one way or another? What the girl felt was.... relief? Something? Was there a pang of regret? The girl could not speak even if she wanted to say something, it was getting hard for her to breathe. She wanted to run away but her legs had no strength.

The young man opened his eyes and looked into the water. "You may be right for someone else. You may be right for me, but I guess, not right now. Or maybe I am the one who isn't right for you, or maybe I am not just smart enough to know what I should do. And maybe there is no right person, but who can say for sure." The young man closed his eyes, suddenly very tired...


...The young man opened his eyes, again, and two years had passed. He was on the rock alone this time, and he wondered what his life would have been, had he said things differently, or had he decided differently. The young man got up to leave. It was time to go back home to his wife, to his family, to his new life.

***

The moral of the story is that sometimes there are no right or wrong answers. There are just decisions and consequences. What we make of those choices, how we choose to view the world, what we do thereafter, those are the things that make answers right or wrong, long after the fact.

We go through our lives having only partial answers to everything. We learn every day, but every day we find out how much we do not know. And we get paralyzed by indecision, by fear of the unknown.

But honestly, the decision to do is a lot easier to justify than the decision not to do.

-David

Father To Son, Part 1

I wrote this in an email to a friend, and it is, I think, a turning point in my relationship with my father.

I learned something very, very important last week, about the relationship between my father and myself, and I think it might change a lot about the way I feel about almost everything.

I used to dread having to speak to my dad, because he would always, always yell at me, criticize me, embarrass me, lecture me, and in all ways forcing his views in my face and trying to coerce me into accepting his way of thinking. There are countless stories of things and events that have happened between my dad and me, things that fill up the back of my brain, and things that have inevitably influenced me for better or for worse.

These father-son episodes were all very repugnant to me, and there was so little that I respected about the way he went about things. Whenever I could, I rejected his words out of hand, and even a bit childishly ridiculed them. Obviously, this caused him to fly into a rage and curse at me, etc. But I provoked him on purpose because I would rather him rage at me for 20 minutes than have him criticize and lecture me for even 21 minutes. It caused a great deal of indirect hurt to happen to me (which is funny, because my dad's rage was vented directly at me, not indirectly), and a great deal of direct hurt to happen to my dad (which is also funny, because my refusal to accept my dad's point of view should be an indirect hurt).

But here's what the Holy Spirit revealed to me last week. My dad, for all his brilliance and for all his faults, was, in his limited way, trying to create a relationship between me and him. It was the only way he could communicate with me, the only method he knows how to communicate with his son. And I couldn't see that until last week. So, for the great majority of my adult life, I have been throwing his words back at him in various ways, and this action was really me rejecting his attempts to reach out to me. And me, by purposely provoking him and accepting his rage rather than his "counsel," I was indirectly turning myself to stone - my heart was hardening to my dad, and I didn't even know it.

I don't condone or respect the way that my dad handled things with me, when I was growing up. But I understand it now, I see the limitations and the history which made him make difficult choices with parenting and having him decide that, given how difficult it was to succeed in this world, it was more important to "toughen" me up than it was for me to feel loved, in the short term.

There's more to be said, but I guess, for later.

-David

Ideas for Men's Ministry (Part III)

This is the last part to my thoughts on fellowship and men's ministry. I had a few dreams about fellowship over the last few days, and independently of that, I had a thought which really struck me about the relationship between fathers and sons. I decided to write about fellowship specifically and finish this three-part email, rather than spending the time to write about what struck me about the father-son relationship (which is also interesting, but not quite relevant here - it will have to be forthcoming as a separate blog post).

Fellowship as the strengthening of the ministry.
In Acts 16, Paul the Missionary meets up with Timothy, and a legendary duo is created. They went around strengthening churches and encouraging people in their faith. In Acts 18-19, Paul continues to go around and around, strengthening churches and encouraging people. Throughout Acts, the growth of the body of Christ occurs hand in hand with the tireless work by the disciples through time spent by them with the people - (1) teaching, (2) encouraging, (3) praying.

What strikes me always about Acts is how the church is grown through those three actions:

Teaching.
This sort of dovetails with what I said in the my last email, which is about maturity and leadership. The act of teaching the Word is fellowship. To teach the Word means that you have to know the Word. And, picking up a Bible study packet every few months or reading the latest Christian-themed book now and again, isn't good enough to teach. What is interesting about Paul in Acts is that Paul never stops teaching, not even when he's in someone's home, on the road, at a market, or even when he's been arrested. Paul doesn't just refute false testimony - he gives true testimony in the form of teaching.

An idea, therefore, for a men's ministry, is to develop teachers. And the only way to develop teachers is to teach. Not only about the Word, but how to communicate the Word in a manner that others can learn.

Encouragement.
What exactly does it mean to have encouragement? Paul speaks of encouragement in terms of keeping and not losing "heart," as in 2Corinthians: "Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit. Therefore, since we have this ministry, as we received mercy, we do not lose heart...For all things are for your sakes, so that the grace which is spreading to more and more people may cause the giving of thanks to abound to the glory of God. Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day."

The afflictions of this world are many. We are crushed, like Paul says, we are confused, we are persecuted, struck down, blinded and tortured. And these afflictions are more metaphorical in our time, than the actualities in Paul's time, but no less real to us. As the believers lost heart constantly in Paul's time, so we do lose heart constantly in this time. So the question is, how do we encourage one another and to manifest the glory of God in our own bodies, so that we are renewed, so that others are renewed, so that we do not lose heart?

I think that Paul was able to do it because he was real to the people he visited. Whenever he went anywhere, Paul was able to encourage the people around him. He met them where they were, whatever village or town, Paul went to them, put himself in the place where the people were, and he stayed in their homes, lived with them, months or even years. In this day and age, every family is its own village / town, separated from other village / towns and each family is full of its own secrets, its own troubles, its own problems, and, on the flip side, full of its own joys, its own triumphs and its own blessings.

How can there be encouragement when each family, each man, is its own walled fortress? To encourage someone, one cannot do it from afar. That would properly be called "cheer-leading" and not true encouragement. When the cheering ends, then encouragement ends. True encouragement means going to the town / village and staying there, months or years even.

Who knows what troubles are crushing the spirits of our brothers? Who knows what burdens are better shared over the long term, months or years worth of burdens, or burdens that may never be lifted in our lifetimes? To which of those burdens are we willing, as men, to commit for the long term?

If it isn't a commitment, then it isn't encouragement. It is cheer-leading. And Paul was never a cheer-leader.

Praying.
As always, all of these things are just works by the hands of men, and are destined to fail if not done with prayer. Prayer is not just intercession. Prayer is teaching, in the form of God teaching through the Holy Spirit. Prayer is maturity in knowing that your own works and your own energy is not enough to make a difference.

And prayer is teaching, in the form of the cascade that I talked about in the previous email. We pray separately, and then we pray together and we teach and we learn when we pray, not just from God, but from each other. And again, we pray separately and then we pray together, and we get encouraged not just from God, but from each other. And finally, we pray because it is what was commanded of us. We pray together because that is what was commanded of us.

***

And so would we strengthen the ministry, like Paul did, and like Timothy did, learning from Paul.

-David

Ideas for Men's Ministry (Part II)

Okay, this is Part 2 in the series of emails. Originally, Part 1 wasn't really "part 1" but the whole. But then as I thought about things, I realized that I really missed a huge chunk of what it means to be "in" Christian fellowship, and I wanted to make sure that I got everything down before I forget things. So I wrote the second part, and soon realized that there would be more than just part 1 and part 2, but in any case, here's what I wrote:

Part I was about things that are necessary for fellowship, but not necessarily sufficient. I hope that Part II will add the components that will be sufficient for real fellowship.

Here are more thoughts I had.

1. Christian Maturity. This is one of the things that not many people talk about, but it is sort of assumed by everyone. Maybe it isn't talked about much because it is such an individual thing.

Everyone has different life experiences, different set of parents with different fathers, and so they have different starting points with different rates of speed in terms of emotional, mental and spiritual stability. But we have a responsibility, and this responsibility means that we have to, we must be more than what we are. It is a duty that we have to live up to.

Hebrews 5-6:
Concerning [Jesus] we have much to say, and it is hard to explain, since you have become dull of hearing. For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you have need again for someone to teach you the elementary principles of the oracles of God, and you have come to need milk and not solid food. For everyone who partakes only of milk is not accustomed to the word of righteousness, for he is an infant. But solid food is for the mature, who because of practice have their senses trained to discern good and evil. Therefore leaving the elementary teaching about the Christ, let us press on to maturity, not laying again a foundation of repentance from dead works and of faith toward God, of instruction about washings and laying on of hands, and the resurrection of the dead and eternal judgment.

The "pressing on" (in the greek, 'pheros') refers to us allowing ourselves to be borne along like a ship in the wind, in this case by the Holy Spirit, and not stopping at the foundations of our faith.

There are two meanings of this passage here that hit me. The first is that I don't always do what I am supposed to do, and by this I mean that I am sometimes immature in my actions. And here's the point with respect to that. I am aware of my immaturity because I can sense when I am doing wrong or, at the least, I am not actively pursuing what is right. And while in a legal sense, and in a utilitarian sense, we are only obligated not to do evil, this is not enough for Christians. We are commanded by God to be perfect, to be holy, to be good, to do right, to be Christ-like. It is an imperative, and only those who are mature can understand what it means to be Christ-like.

And the second is that we ought to be teachers. Teachers are role-models. And teachers are those who lead. Teachers are those who are actively entrusted with the duty to teach, and not to stand by and watch. And teachers are those who act when those are students are unable to act. That's their job. That's what they are paid to do.

So Christian maturity is about leading by example, by actively instructing those who know less, and by permitting oneself to be borne on the Holy Spirit (like a ship in the wind) to become Christ-like. And this isn't an option, it is an imperative. By God.

2. Hierarchy and what leadership entails.
Leadership is not about commanding people about. And soldiering isn't about giving and receiving orders. What battlefield commanders know inherently is that victory is achieved through achievement in a series of little objectives that are coherent with reference to the overarching goal. Leadership is imbued in all of this, from the goal-seeking little objectives and the formulation and push toward the overarching goal. There is, at the top level, always, only one overarching goal, and leadership is the devolution of that goal. This is so important that I will repeat it - leadership is the devolution of the overarching goal.

2 Timothy
You therefore, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. The things which you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses, entrust these to faithful men who will be able to teach others also. Suffer hardship with me, as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. No soldier in active service entangles himself in the affairs of everyday life, so that he may please the one who enlisted him as a soldier.

Much to talk about with this passage, but I will limit it to a few thoughts. First, Paul is exhorting Timothy to teach men who will then teach others. Paul believes in Timothy's maturity, and he hands Timothy's marching orders to teach. Paul = teacher. Timothy = teacher. Timothy's students = future teachers. Normal leadership implies two things - those that lead and those that follow. Christian leadership, however, implies THREE things - those that lead, those that follow, and those who follow who will become leaders. Christian leadership is a cascade.

Now, what is the overarching goal of Christians? Well, it is debatable I guess, but my feeling is that it has something to do with the simple premise of Fellowship With God. Fellowship with God is God's wish for us, and this is, really, it. The devolution of this goal is what Christian leadership should be.

Now, the men's ministry has its own group tag, and certainly the self-styled "band of brothers" group is a good name, coming from Shakespeare's Henry V, where Henry rallies his troops with these words that impart much feeling in the face of overwhelming odds and probability of certain death - "but we in it shall be remembered- we few, we happy few, we band of brothers; for he to-day that sheds his blood with me shall be my brother; be he never so vile, this day shall gentle his condition; and gentlemen in England now-a-bed shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here, and hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks that fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day."

But these original band of brothers, though horizontal in nature (all faced the same death by French sword on the same battlefield, and had faced the same lack of food supplies, the same disease of dysentary, and the same battle weariness of being so far from home), were still led by Henry V, who did what his duty was to do: lead his troops by example and by teaching what it means to be a soldier. And likewise, Christian hierarchy is leading by example, teaching to those who will teach, and to endure like soldiers. The brotherhood, the koinonia aspect of the band, is in the endurance of what it means to be a Christian, to share in the joys and in the sorrows (and recognizing that it is all good), and to be strengthened by the horizontal shared experience.

But the maturity aspect of Christianity will obligate those who are mature to teach and to lead, and to make future teachers. And that, to me, is what fellowship is. We who are mature lead by letting ourselves be led by the Holy Spirit and then to pass on what we are taught to those who will lead and, as we lead, so do we also follow and bear our hardships together.


-David

Ideas for Men's Ministry (Part I)

This is Part 1 of a series of emails that I wrote, discussing matters of ministering to men, fellowship and what it means to be encouraged. These emails sprang out of what I felt needed to be emphasized in a men's group ministry.

Seeing what is real. The issue isn't who we are, but what we think we are.

I find that generalizing how "men" are, even given the inherent differences between men and women, are less than salutary. This is true even given cultural norms and traditional roles that are foisted upon men. If we find it difficult to reach out to other individuals or to let others reach out to us, to "be real," then this isn't necessarily a "man" issue, but it could be more of a perspective issue. In other words, what we perceive to be our nature may or may not be our nature.

(This is not to say that men do not have roles within the family unit, within the Christian governance unit, and this is not to say that men's relationships with other men are equivalent to their relationship with women, but this IS to say that I think our perspectives need to be adjusted. There is Biblical basis for men and women being different; for certain, we were made for different roles and we were made at different times. But the ability of individuals to interact with others, male or female, are similar enough and face the same issues.)

And the definition of fellowship does not change - fellowship is the flow of God's glory through the Holy Spirit between and among God and God's children and we are enriched so when we act in fellowship. Acting in fellowship, i.e., acting in concert with God's commands to us, we cannot help but be enriched and not just because of future rewards, but because we are prisms of God's glory.

And here's the point: if there is a difficulty to act within this model, then the problem isn't that we aren't built for that purpose of fellowship (which we clearly are), but we have by our own twisted perspective of ourselves disfigured our very selves and in so doing, prevented ourselves from being proper prisms. The differences between men and women, which people have often commented as being a difficulty in creating true fellowship between guys, aren't inherent differences that came from God's design. God DID make men different than women, but not in the way that we would be able to love one another as Christ loves us, to bear each others burdens to fulfill Christ's law, and to love their neighbor as they would love themselves.)

What It Means To Be "In Christ"

Often, we find ourselves using words like "in Christ" to sign off. It is a welcome reminder of where we should be, but the question is how much of our bodies is really on the "inside" and how many inches of our back foot remain over the line that divides inside and outside.

In my reflections, I can only see what I am and what has happened in my life. And for me, I found a starting point when I realized that I had some twisted perspectives and some blocking filters in my vision.

First stumbling block: pride in one's self and one's accomplishments.
Second stumbling block: viewing the world as a zero-sum game.
Third stumbling block: having a long term goal of being independent from the idea of risk.

No where in the Bible can we see a vision of "being independent from risk." Paul doesn't teach it, neither does John nor Peter. Jesus Christ never told anyone to be independent from risk, but this has been an inherent part of my long term strategy. We hold jobs not necessarily because it is the right thing to do, but because it minimizes the risk of being unable to provide for ourselves and our family. We work hard at our jobs, to minimize the risk of losing our jobs. And we work towards that day when we no longer have to work, when the risk to ourselves and our familes is minimized. But this is all backwards. When does Jesus talk about risk assessment, divergence and decomposition?

These stumbling blocks lead to notions of individuality. We are all islands, and connected only by shared experiences. And this leads to my next point, which is how we can bridge the gaps between and among us.

The Bridge is Friendship, oddly enough.

Posit #1. Friendship, true friendship, is actually a reflection of the Trinity. What it is, is, ultimately, a reflection of fellowship, because that is what the Trinity is.

Posit #2. But friendship and fellowship do not start out in the same place, which is why you can have friendship without fellowship, which is like a marriage without God. On the other hand, I don't believe that you can have fellowship without friendship.

And if Posits 1 and 2 are true, then it may be that we have a starting place for what needs to be worked on. What we as individuals realize about each other, our weaknesses, our deficiencies, may be a big factor in why there issues with fellowship with those same people. And fellowship without friendship is no fellowship at all. Speaking with respect to only that which I know for sure, my own life, a time-intensive review of every single bit of history in my own past has convinced me that at least for me, just about every problem I have had with anyone has come from pride.

Pride destroys Friendship, makes Fellowship impossible.

I used to think that being humble was to lower ourselves so that we can help others, because how can we help anyone unless we are at the same level or lower than the person we are trying to help? But this is only a partial answer, and this partial answer really needs a significant adjustment, because the objective was never to "lower" ourselves, but to be humble. There should never be a time when we feel that we have to lower ourselves to serve others. We should already be there. It isn't a temporary state of being, for us to be lowered to serve, only to take the elevator back up to our "normal" state.

Pride makes you hide things from others. Pride makes you believe that you are due things or honor or respect from others. Pride makes you believe that you and your time is valuable, and so you and your time have worth intrinsic that needs to bartered, equal value for equal value. Pride tells you to wait until the other person calls/apologizes/acts first, because who knows whether the other person will feel the same as you, making you look like a fool if you go first. Pride tells you to watch your back because you cannot be absolutely sure that someone else. Pride kills friendships, prevents them from starting, stunts those friendships that do exist, preventing development into fellowship.

So what's the next step.

True humility leads to a permanent change in perspective. We learn to see things from perspectives outside of our own. We see through the eyes of others, at their level. And because the change is permanent, there is no pretense. No need to deviate from what we already are. We are who we are, and there is nothing to hide. I believe that this is the start of friendship. I think this is why it is easiest for people to be friends when they are both starting out in the same place.

The big thing here to keep in mind is that friendships (as a means toward fellowship) need to be nurtured. The end goal is to develop those characteristics of friendship that result in fellowship: love, trust, honesty, care, sharing of burdens and openness, and that there isn't much secret as to how to go about this. As with most things that are good, the answer is pretty obvious: prayer (which leads to action).

Most people think of friendship as apart from fellowship, and in a sense, it is, since, as I said above, you can have friendship without fellowship. But I don't think it works the other way around, and so I think to develop any kind of men's ministry, men need to re-learn what it means to be friends with one another, and in so doing, and in humility, openness, honesty and in love, develop fellowship.

So, in this spirit, I encourage you to be humble with one another, to begin at the beginning and pray that you might see others in their position, and not in yours. I encourage you to start with the idea that humility is a permanent state of being, and that friendship begets fellowship.


-David

How My Dreams Have Failed

Dreams can be stuff of legend, unbelievable tales of wonder and amazement.

As I dream, I have been to the mountains, mountains so high and vast that I am turned to nothing just by standing, watching a sunset so pure that a single mote of dust would have marred the sight that no eyes have ever seen. And I finally felt a connection to the place where humans have been given dominion over all.

I have stood in front of cameras broadcasting to billions of people and led nations to peace and understanding, speaking in dozens of languages as I touch the hearts of those whose understanding is limited by their own myopic vision.

I have pushed the limits of human endurance and tolerance for pain and exhaustion, as I became a metaphor for human achievement in the fields of sport, and in those moments, every soul had hope for the future, because in the end hope is what binds us together.

And I have befriended the friendless and the ignorant, reaching deep into the heart of a lost one, making contact and finding common ground and fellowship with a harmony of spirit; that despite all that is different on the surface, we are all just the same - in the same condition, the same trouble, the same joy and pain.

In in the end, my dreams have all turned to naught, and I am still here, not on the mountaintop, having seen nothing through these eyes, and having touched no one through these hands. Where my dreams have been, my body has failed to reach.

I have lost the path to my dreams. It is no wonder that night comes easily to me, because in my dreams I find fellowship where my reality has none.

It really begs the question then, because there are no answers as to why reality is inapposite to where I go when I close my eyes. There is a hollowness with the daily grind, the things we do to survive. The dreams are insubstantial and nothing fills their place. And the oppression begins, starting small in the morning and grows by the hour until the evening comes and I am exhausted from the struggle to breathe and to live.

How do I cope, other than to remain disciplined and stoic?

There is risk to push the world of dreams and the world of reality together. Aside from the impossibility aspect, there is the understanding that a failure here would render both worlds to die. Apart, both survive. Together, there is nothing but failure.

My dreams have failed because they have been far too perfect to exist in the world I inhabit. A sobering conclusion, but perhaps the only sane explanation.

-David

P-35 Gene Expression

I didn't do so well in my biochemistry and genetics classes, since I was an economics major and trying to match up against hyper-competitive pre-med Harvard students when you just want to learn about protein folding in a topical way, well, that's not very smart.

So really, I have no idea what I am talking about when I say gene expression. What I remember from my classes is so jumbled, even now, and so I can honestly say that that it never made sense, not then and not now. So what do I know about the P-35 gene? Well, nothing actually. I don't even know if there is a P-35 gene, but that's not really my point.

I believe that there is a gene in most people's foundation that allows them to recognize and to accept friendship. It is a social gene, and it is inherently recognizable by those who have it. i.e., if you are social, you automatically fit better in a group than those who are not social, and thus social individuals tend to cluster, while those who are not social tend to be isolated and alone. Since social character is evolutionarily useful, it is reasonable to assume that over time, those who are social tend to be dominant in any sub-group. Not without a slight bit of irony, God's design for us is that we are built to need not only God, but each other as well. Evolutionarily-speaking, there is no apriory requisite for God, but how coincidental is it that both God and evolution produced the need for humans to co-exist together, all the while seeking a way back to God.

Anyway, that's tangential. So I name this characteristic of most individuals to be a manifestation of the P35 expression. And, for whatever reason, I am in the minority. In my body, in my design, in my life, the regulator of the P35 gene has been switched to the 'off' position.

And so I am a socially disabled person, to speak in a more politically-correct manner. I have but few friends, in fact other than my wife, I can name but one person, a more or less life-long friend who has carried me through my life with not a little humor. But again, I digress.

It has taken me a long time to understand this part of my own life, to accept the fact that some people aren't meant to have friends plural, but are meant to exist apart from nearly all others, to watch from afar as the socialization soup swirls around. For a long time though, I was bitter and saddened by this fact, because to be designed so is to be thrown onto an deserted isle, and there is no haven from one's own life when the only company is you.

But like a child, I am petulant and blinded by my own needs, unable to see beyond my own nose. Perhaps the "why" is not so important right now, so much as it is important to decide what there is to do about it.

Like any handicap, social isolation is no greater than mountain built by the mind's eye. It is a truly interesting story to see how people overcome their obstacles. For some, blindness is a crippling curse, but for others, it a means to express the Glory of God through other means.

So what is it for me? A pitiful curse or an opportunity for God's Glory? Or neither? Something in between?

I'm not sure. Authenticity forces me to look within first, and no action for God's Glory can start with fear, or with greed. It is a difficult thing, to take what God has given you and to look upon it as a blessing despite itself and despite yourself, and to really mean it. This is akin to the idea of salvation. Asking God for His forgiveness cannot be for selfish reasons, because the act of penitence is a self-less act. It means that you aren't central to the raison d'tre, and then God replies, "Okay, we are at the beginning now." God nods and says, "When you are ready to listen, I am ready to talk."

And maybe I'll be ready to listen soon, and figure out another part of my life.

-David

Bunny and the Great River

A wet and cold bunny named Bunny was hungry.

And Bunny was a little bit scared; he had never been so far from his burrow before. In fact, this was actually not true, but in the early morning misty darkness and the heavy dew coating Bunny's fur, it certainly FELT true. And to be honest, Bunny wasn't all too bright, being a somewhat forgetful bunny, and so Bunny forgot the Great Food Party of the previous summer, when he and a bunch of his burrow-mates found a flowery meadow on the other side of the Great River. By the by, the Great Food Party was a memorable event, since it was an exceedingly rare summertime event that the Great River ever shrunk to a mere stream, which allowed for fording even to smallish bunnies like Bunny. But in the murky darkness, the cold fur causing a sniffle or two, and a feeling of urgency pushing Bunny's soppy tail to shiver, it was all Bunny could do to remember his own name.

On this particular morning, the Great River was fairly bubbling, swollen to the tips of the reeds which normally towered over the water's surface. It had rained the night before, and certainly Bunny remembered THAT. It was the water drops wetting the pillow of dirt that Bunny had slept on that had woken Bunny from his dreams of flowery meadows and perhaps even the Great Food Party II. Irate at being turned out from his bed and suddenly hungry, Bunny had left the warm burrow, creeping over the tops of the other snuggling bunnies to find food.

Bunny had sharp eyes, and espied a copse of edibles on the far side of the Great River, but how to cross? If Bunny were a braver bunny, he might have considered a mighty leap, but Bunny was cautious by nature, and only hunger kept Bunny from high-tailing it back to the burrow.

Bunny pawed the damp bank of the river in frustration. Now what?

"Bunny, why are you here?"

Bunny nearly jumped out of his fur. He hadn't heard ANY one creep up from behind. Bunny's ears went erect as he twitched and tried to blend into the soggy reeds.

"Bunny, I said, why are you here!" The Great River, and it really was the Great River talking, was speaking unequivocally to him.

Bunny shrunk to as small of a bunny as he could be, and all of a sudden, Bunny had an epiphany: better not let the questioner wait too long for his answer. Bunny scrunched his eyes closed and covered them with his front paws.

"Hello? I'm Bunny, and I'm hungry." Bunny kept his paws over his eyes, but tried peeking with one eye. Bunny just realized that the Great River already knew who he was, and therefore two-thirds of his response was really unnecessary. Bunny felt awe but wasn't scared in the same way that he would be if he were facing down a stoat, for instance (not that Bunny had faced a stoat before, but by all accounts, that's what most bunnies would feel if facing a stoat).

"Bunny, all that you need I have provided. Go and be at peace." And with that, the Great River receded from the bank, and a muddy path opened through the Great River.

Despite a growing feeling of wonderment and, in fact, Bunny did feel peaceful, it was quite some time before Bunny felt safe enough to take his paws from his eyes, but when he did, the Great River was now a small stream. And there, across the way, was the copse of edibles!

And so Bunny ate his fill, and loped his way back to the Burrow.

Not many of the bunnies believed Bunny when he told the story of when the Great River opened up to make way for Bunny to eat, aka the Great Solo Food Party, mostly because Bunny wasn't all too bright, but Bunny never questioned why it was that the Great River helped him.

To Bunny, it was simple. The Great River provides, and Bunny was at peace.

****

-David

No Menus

Hannah and I went out to dinner to a restaurant a few days ago, and something happened that will probably stick with me for a while.

But first, let me preface that with a story that happened back in 2004, about a month before we got married. Hannah and I got married in October of 2004, and before this, I was living in Connecticut and she was living in New York. To balance work commutes, friends and family, we made preparations to rent a house in Tuckahoe, New York (Westchester), to be our first humble abode as a married couple.

Now, Tuckahoe is smack dab in the middle of southern Westchester, and about as diverse as Westchester neighborhoods go. Not quite as swanky as Chappaqua, Bronxville or Scarsdale, but not as urban as Yonkers, Port Chester or Mt. Vernon. It is a rather quiet commuter's village, right on the Metro North railway and a pleasant place to live (I recommend it highly for those who work in the city).

So, there I am, cleaning out the apartment for our move, and I decide to take a break and check out the neighborhood shops in the center of Tuckahoe - a little garden / flower shop, a corner coffee cafe place, a few tailor/dry cleaners, two Italian restaurants, two pizza joints, nail salons and a barber shop or two. Oh, and like most town centers, there's a take-out Chinese restaurant.

Hannah mentioned to me that she'd like me to look into picking up a few terra cotta pots if possible, and the little garden flower shop seems perfect. And so I decide to walk around and pick up as many restaurant menus as possible on the way to the garden shop. Finally, I make my way inside and then I hear a shrill voice and see a woman waving her arms and shooing me out the door:

"Hey! No menus! No menus!"

I look around. Who is the woman talking to?

"Didn't you hear me? I said, I DON'T WANT NO MENUS. no speaky english?"

Ummm, was she talking to me?

Apparently, she was talking to me. I was holding a few menus in my hand, and apparently that meant I must be one of those errand people who drop of menus at every establishment as a form of advertising.

My face got pretty red. And I was embarrassed. Not really for me, of course. My own self-esteem was doing just fine. What made me embarrassed was me imagining how totally flustered the garden shop owner would be, once I started explaining to her that:

1. I was holding menus because I had just moved into the neighborhood.
2. I was visiting her store to look for terra cotta pots.
3. I do speak English quite well - my educational level being (a) New England private school, (b) Harvard University, then (c) Cornell Law School had prepared me well enough to understand, "no menus," as well as understand the faulty basis of that rather inflammatory and offensive statement.

It was one of those moments that there are no words to adequately convey facial expression of the woman as I, very magnaminously, pointed out to her case of mistaken identity. No, sorry, I am just here to look at terra cotta pots. Do you have anything smaller than what you have in the window? No? Ok, thank you anyway. No, no, it's fine. I was holding menus, and I am sure you get plastered with menus of all kinds of restaurants.

****

Anyway.

Flash forward nearly 4 years.

Hannah and I are walking from the parking lot and heading towards the restaurant. And it is a sit-down Chinese restaurant that also delivers.

Out pops an Asian man carrying a large paper bag wrapped in a plastic bag. He's got someone's dinner in his hand. He smiles at me as he passes me and he gives me a slight bow of the head. A very friendly gesture, and I think to myself:

"Jeez, this is why Asian guys get no respect from mainstream America. They are seen as servile and always bowing, and smiling as if the whole world is their superior. That guy should have more pride in himself. He doesn't know me. Just because he's a delivery boy doesn't mean he has to be so humble."

Then I hear a "BOOP. BEEP." The Asian guy (who is carrying only one bag, by the way, which should have been a give-away had I been more observant), unlocks the door to his brand new S65 AMG Mercedes Benz and he's gone. If you don't know what an S65 AMG Benz is, then just picture a very, very nice house. That's how much a S65 AMG runs, if you financed it.

Ooops.

Of course, as I am trying to calm my brain as about a thousand brain cells are all trying to talk at once, a second Asian guy walks out of the restaurant, carrying a bunch of bags, and he also smiles at me, bowing slightly as he juggles the bags and tries to get into the delivery car (it's a pretty good bet that it's a delivery car, since it is wrapped with the restaurant's name and phone number).

****

So, no menus.

It was me saying it, after all.

Christ's humility would have made me bow in return, because it was gesture of community from one human being to another.

Christ's humility would have made me take a step back from the Tuckahoe Garden Shop woman, and would have made me see that that woman's prejudice was a common thread that actually binds us all together, because we are all sinners.

Christ's humility made Him who is without Sin take the place of everyone, including me and the Tuckahoe Garden Shop woman.

No menus.

-David

The Tree and The Wind

The Wind slithered her way through the forest, more or less idly and without much thought other than to conserve energy. The Wind honestly couldn't care less whether she got through the forest any faster than the plodding pace she was muddling. The summer rays over the tops of the forest tips were causing problems for her as usual, trying to draw the Wind upward away from the cool and moist softness of the forest floor.

The Wind had to be more vigilant then, trying to get through the forest without being impeded by too many trees. That, and the spiders with their cobwebs. It was rather rude to pass through someone else's home, but that's kind of how the Wind felt as she passed through the myriad of cobwebs that made the forest their home. It was a fine balance to find, if at all possible.

And it was so luxurious to be able to whip past the land, but better to go slow than to be caught up in the solar net. The Wind was warned by others as she was created in the mountains by the Great Cloud - if you get too high, you will be turned into Rain, and gone will be your freedom. Yet the drain to remain close to the ground was considerable, and after a lot of groaning, whistling, the "excuse me's and pardon me's and sorry for barging through your home" and much, much effort, the Wind settled to move at a snail's pace on the forest floor. There was little rush, after all. The Wind felt the need to move, but the pace was entirely up to her.

And so the the Wind moved through the last copse of trees and found itself in a small circular meadow, surrounded by more forest, with a solitary tree at the center of the meadow.

"Hello, Tree." The Wind paused as she passed close.

"Hello, Wind." The Tree nodded his branches in a soft manner.

The Wind felt a little rush of impertinence, wanting to ask why the Tree was all along and not with the others, and at the same time, understood that the Tree was much older than herself, and so did not deserve the prying questions of one so young as her.

The Wind circled the meadow, trying to decide whether to stay for a while, or to move on through.

"Whither you go, Wind." The Tree bent his top branches toward the Wind.

"I go where I please, but I mustn't stray too far from the ground, and I mustn't tarry too long in one place either."

The Tree thought for a moment, and asked, "What lies beyond the forest?"

The Wind paused and considered the source of the query. It was an odd question; surely the Tree had more wisdom than to ask a silly question like that! What was beyond the forest? It was all the same to the Wind, and she had no idea how to answer the question. It was a silly question, and the Wind had places to go.

"Tree, what lies beyond the forest is the Beyond. It is marvelous and wondrous."

The Tree straightened to the tips of the top branches. "All I see is more forest."

"Tree, what you cannot see, I have been to and back." The Wind picked up speed and tickled the edges of the leaves, darting just out of the Tree's reach.

The Tree was silent for a while, and then said sadly, "I am rooted here, and this is my life. Can you understand?"

The Wind did not, and her patience was at an end. "Tree, I will go there and be back and report all that I see."

The Tree nodded, and with that the Wind was gone, rushing past the meadow and over the tops of the forest, daring the Sun to take her.

The Tree drooped a bit, and sighed.

"See you again tomorrow."

****

The Wind has no memory, and the Tree has no feet. And together they are still incomplete.

-David

Of Family and Friends

I think I have settled on a few things, trying to understand family and friendship.

The first notion is the puzzle that family is usually regarded as a stronger relationship than friendship, but any family relationship that does not involve friendship can be (and may in fact be) weaker than friendship.

The reason for this is that friendship is by choice, and so there is automatically an imprintur of mutuality that follows friendship. You simply cannot be friends with someone who does not want to be friends with you. And when you are friends with someone, you know you are accepted, just as you accept them. This is the strength of friendship. It is mutuality by choice, and there is trust and comfort in the knowing that you are accepted.

The second notion is that the dynamics of friendship often "disintegrate" into a familial relationship which can carry none of the aspects of mutuality, and so a paradox forms - the closer you are as a friend, the more likely you may come to be considered family, which then can be the death of a friendship.

Isn't this a bit odd? With many (but not all) friendships, there is an irresistible evolution of friendship to family. If the evolution is real, then the erstwhile friend is no longer part of your life by choice. There is no choice with family. Oddly then, we consider family to be the closest grouping of individuals, where forgiveness is granted due to status rather than by merit, and where obligation is a priori over grace.

And, in some cases, somewhere along the line, the warm comfort and trust of mutuality developed by true friendship is slowly replaced by the vulgar and base requirements of family. Here then we see expectation, need, obligation, utilitarianism, sacrifice, and sometimes even by emotional trauma, because only a person who is truly close to you can hurt you. It doesn't have to happen, but far too often, mutuality disappears within the family unit.

You can see it all the time. Husbands anger wives and vice versa, children disappoint parents, and vice versa. Different reasons, different circumstances, but the common thread is that family units suffer far too often because mutuality is either impossible, or it has been replaced by need, expectation, sacrifice and even resentment.

And so a circular progression develops. Close friends become family, and over time, the once bright relationships grow darker as mutuality can wither and in its place grow expectation, obligation, need, and sacrifice. And the fruit of all of this is what everybody knows - you get the highs and lows of it all, with unyielding love on one end and emotional trauma on the other as individuals fail. And this is how family units can fail, and often do fail. Few family units can withstand the ups and downs without a safety net of mutuality. And as family units dissolve, new relationships are formed from the pieces, based once again on the idea of friendship first. New replaces old, the cycle repeats itself, like a tree's many branches through spring, summer, fall and winter, and back to spring.

And so it is that a Christian church is a constantly moving in a slow spiral. We meet each other, and we deem ourselves to be friends. And so those relationships, at least some of them, develop into a close knit structure, with the strongest ties being those grounded in mutuality. And as time passes, those ties begin coalesce into a familial structure. We call each other brother and sister, we call each other uncle and auntie, we have traditional gatherings on those holidays reserved by hallmark, for family.

And then we say, we are a family, part of a Christian fellowship where we are all brothers and sisters in Christ. This is easily translated from the Bible, because as the children of God, we must all be related by Christ's blood. As children of the same Father, we are siblings by a new birth.

But somewhere along the line, the link of mutuality can sometimes disappear, or be taken for granted, and all we have left is a fellowship that is predicated on the vacillations of common faith, hope and trust in God, that we would be made perfect someday through the Holy Spirit. But this sounds better than it plays out in practice, unfortunately.

In this time, in this period, in our lives here, we are not perfect, and we are not always linked by the Holy Spirit. And we are not united by the blood of Christ, and we are separated and limited by our own faculties, by our own lack of vision. And then there is nothing, because we threw away our mutuality. While our own poor faith to bind us together may be sufficient for God to keep us, in this time, in this life, there is still need, expectation, obligation, selfish utilitarianism, sacrifice, and even emotional trauma when we are left alone, when our own powers fail.

Where did the Christian family go so far wrong? God is perfect, and so why is not His strength perfect in us?

I think it has to do with the absence of mutuality, the same mutuality that starts the idea of friendship.

See, family often condescends friendship. In fact, Christian "family" does more than condescend friendship, I think it discourages it indirectly through structural and institutional means. Friendship is consdescended because people consider it to be a much lesser form of family - people see friendship as being transient, as being without obligation or strength, especially since the word "friend" is so loosely defined, it is often synonymous with any individual who is not an enemy. But true friendship has what is often missing in family, which, as I have said, is mutuality. And how important is mutuality?

In the epitome of what it means to be Christian, we are challenged to answer two questions:

1. Do you love your God, with all of your heart, soul, mind and strength, and
2. Do you love your neighbor as yourself?

The second question is almost never fully appreciated for what it is. The question isn't asking whether your neighbor is "family," because there is no expectation or sacrifice or obligation here. What the second question is asking is what friendship presupposes. Would you treat your neighbor in the same way as you would treat yourself. If there is a clearer definition of mutuality, I cannot find one. (And, in fact, mutuality is presupposed in the first question as well, because we are able to love God because God loved us first!).

***

In a bit of tangent, I think there is a bit of a misunderstanding when it comes to the standard mode of thinking, when Christians ponder mutuality. The lesson goes like this - when we love God, we complete the mutuality, and so we are able to love others as well. Thus do we even get our mutuality from God. When we fellowship with the Holy Spirit, we are able to fellowship with others, because fellowship does not come from us.

Is this a true statement? I think the answer is "yes," but the answer is not a complete one for now. While we are here in this world, while we are yet imperfect, while we are in desperate states of light and darkness, we hold onto whatever we can.

And a lack of human mutuality dissolves the physical foundation of relationships. Holy mutuality makes human mutuality possible, but the latter is not a given even if you profess to love God. And without both, you really can't follow both of the greatest commandments. So where does that leave us, watching the seasons of our lives pass before us, moving in a cycle of change across individual relationships? I'm not sure, exactly.

There is a lesson here that I am supposed to learn, but I am without mutuality, because I have but few friends, and it is hard for me to bring myself to understand the lesson. There is a bitterness associated with isolation, and though the bitterness is a flavor like all others, the acetic life can only go so far. Luckily, I have been well trained in such aceticism all my life. So it all works out for the best, I guess.

-David

Time Passes

Time passes and we get older. Time passes and everybody else gets older. And all the while, the meaning of it all escapes me.

I guess I've reached a plateau in my understanding of how things work around me.

1. You have friends, and they develop relationships with you. Some fall away, others take their place, and there is a dynamic quality to it all.

2. You have family, and they keep a relationship with you. There is a static quality to it all, even as your parents grow older right before your eyes.

3. You have work, and this is a means to sustain yourself and those whom you support.

4. You have your free time, and you dream, you play, you renew your body and mind in an attempt to divert your searching, or perhaps you use the time to ponder the life you really had no idea you would have, way back when.

5. And you have God, who in His infinite wisdom, gave you all you need to survive both in this world and in the next.

So, why do I feel like I am alone in this world?

To whom am I talking, why do I even write these posts if I expect and hope for no response? Where is the fellowship of the mind, the singularity that would lead to something more than the trivial, something more lasting than a "hello, goodbye." The truth is, I am a grain of sand on the beach, and surrounded by countless other grains of sand, I am not unique. Alone, yes, but unique, no. And it makes it hard to get up in the morning.

Here are the facts.

1. I am to a degree, a well-adjusted person. I have compensated for my short-comings, and I have rationalized my life to a point where I am more or less comfortable in my state. I call this "balance." But, at the same time, I am scarred I am less inclined to forgive the world for my condition, and thus I am also a cynic and potentially amoral.

2. There is this test I came up with a while ago, to help me to determine what is real around me. It goes something like this - picture yourself in a room with a chair and a cell phone, and an up-to-date phone book with the names and numbers of everyone whom you've ever encountered in your life. In the room, now, let's say that a $50M (after tax) check magically appears, made out to you. Who would be the first people you would call, to share the news? Let's make it your top five people. The check disappears, and another piece of paper appears, but this time it is a divorce decree - your spouse has moved on, leaving you alone. Who would you call first, to share this grim piece of news? Let's make this list also a top-five list. Now, let's merge the lists by only taking the people who appear in BOTH lists. Those are the people with whom you would want to share your life - the good news, the bad news, these people take it all.

Now, how many of those people on that merged list would call you first? Let's say that you had four people who appear in both top five lists above. Which of the four people would have you on their merged list?

For me, there is nobody. In fact, I am pretty sure I don't make any list (good or bad) of anyone else. And, so, what does this mean? Well, it doesn't "mean" anything, per se, except what it is. And so I don't rationalize this or explain it, and I don't ponder the significance of it. But, as much as I accept my life the way that it is, I also feel a bit of sadness I guess, because who knows what could have been, or might be yet, if only I were a different person.

But I am who I am, and there is a price to be paid.

-David

The Goat vs. The Plant

Well, we are back to the story of the free-thinking goat, who got his owner in trouble by being.


Now the free-thinking goat did not show up for the arraignment of his owner, who violated a village ordinance against the ownership of free-thinking goats. It was, however, just as well, because the goat may have also received due punishment if the village elders deemed that the free-thinking goat was its own master now, and, in ownership of itself, the goat would either have to alter its free-thinking ways or stop being a goat.

Where was the free-thinking goat, and why did it not come to the defense of its former master? In the morning of the day in question, the goat was in fact on the move. The goat was a free-thinking being after all, and its current thought was that it should look towards its hunger, to sate its desire to eat.

Point of fact. Free-thinking goats might be free-thinking and all that, but like all normal, mundane beings, food, drink and rest are quite high on the list of things to think about. Free-thinking goats would be free-thinking dead goats if they did not.

So it was that the free-thinking goat happened upon a tasty-looking plant high on the mountain pass. The plant was certainly tasty-looking - full of juicy berries, lush green leaves, and a milky stalk that looked so crisp and crunchy that the free-thinking goat drooling with anticipation. He had been this way before, so why had he missed this luscious, tasty plant on previous travels? The free-thinking goat started to get anxious. He must eat this plant quickly, before other goats, free-thinking or non-free-thinking, found this perfect plant. The tasty-looking plant had no thorns to pester him, had none of the warning signs of poison that would send chills down the free-thinking goat's back.

The free-thinking goat sighed. He was hungry, and the plant was just about perfect to eat. What more could there be to life? What more could the free-thinking goat ask for?

So with that, the goat turned away from the plant and trotted down the path toward less tasty plants he knew to be down by the mountain stream. The freedom to choose was only good if exercised, and this particular free-thinking goat believed in freedom, even over food.

***

I can understand why some people believe that the murmured discomfort of a small few and plaints about a forced church membership drive is overstated; these people believe, probably quite rightly in fact, that the church membership / vision statement combination is really nothing new or anything to get worked up about.

And, I can understand the polar opposite view, which is that this a fairly big deal, that we are being asked to give our fidelity before God to follow the pastor despite not having a firm idea of where we are going, and that current memberships are being revoked unilaterally and an entirely new process being instituted for everyone without congregational vote, etc.

But I think both perspectives may not be properly focused on what is important, because the meaning of the vision statement is being lost in all of this, and the pastor may not been able to transmit the meaning of the vision statement in a way that gets people to completely understand, or maybe not everyone has been listening or paying attention.

A true application of the vision statement will be an inexorable transformation of reality, and it puts everyone who shall follow Christ into immediate "resident alien" status in this world. And an authentic and consistent living out of this vision statement can be, frankly, incredibly daunting. I say this because if we are to undertake this vision statement, it only makes sense to do it if you do it 100%. And a true and authentic living for the worship of God will make for incredible changes in the way that many of us, or most of us, live our lives, or, if I speak for myself alone, in the way that I, live my life.

But there are questions:

1. Is this God's plan for each of us, as believers.
2. Is this God's plan for the church.
3. Is this an accurate interpretation of the Word, as applied to us?

I would guess that the pastor would answer yes to the first, yes to the second and yes to the third. So that's it.

Yet the greatest question to be answered for Christians who live in this day and age, is how to live in this day and age. Since I know less than the pastor, I would have to say that the pastor is, very likely, quite correct in his interpretation of the Word, but the implementation of his interpretation will be an incredible balance of culture, finance, family values, social networks, employment choices, everything. But is this church spiritually mature enough to undertake this vision at this time? One wonders whether Moses felt the same way about his people and whether they were mature enough to take to the desert and out of slavery.

One wonders whether the pastor sees himself in a Moses-like role, leading the people of this church out of financial, emotional, social and family security, and into a wasteland of nothing, so as to focus our attention on what is important in a God-centered life. I guess the question is, can you live a God-centered life while remaining in this world, in this reality, or is it just the degree of hypocrisy that you are able to swallow.

I would deem any degree of an inauthentic life as hypocrisy, because we are all able to live a God-centered life, if we so choose. The question is not whether we are able, but whether we are willing. And willing to lead an authentic life 70% versus 100% may be noticeable to the outside, but we are talking about the Holy Spirit here, and the Holy Spirit is not fooled by being mostly devoted, as opposed to fully devoted.

But if nobody can be perfect anyway, then is this just about intent rather than actual living, or a mostly pure mind-set? Each answer reveals more questions. I am holding a mirror while facing a mirror, and the stretch is infinite.

-David

The Greatest Commandment, partially summarized.

Wow, it has been a while, hasn't it?

Probably too long, but I've been busy. Bought a home and in addition to the increased workload from work, I am now ladened with the duties of home-ownership. The commute now being further, I have that much less time to think and write.

Still, it isn't like I haven't been thinking.

So here's the restart of my blog, and it comes with a bang.

Here is a summary of a statement of faith, filtered through me, as to why we are all here, and what it is that we should be doing. Knowing, of course, is infinitely different and separate from doing, but like Flint from GI Joe said to kids everywhere, "knowing is half the battle."

What we are, and why are here. A Christian response.

The Bible is God's Word to His people, so that we may understand why we are here, and what we are to do. And the Old Testament and the New Testament are the same in this regard. As man is created in the image of God, so we are created for His purpose, and only proper response to our creation in such an image is to worship God. God's nature, being Perfect, without Sin, and being infinite in majesty, mercy, Goodness, love, and grace, is incompatible with the fallen state of man. But how is man fallen, when made in the image of the Perfect God? The answer is straight out of CS Lewis, with the idea that there is no meaning of Good without Evil, there cannot be choice if you do not have the ability to choose against.

The glory of God is God's nature, and it is beyond argument or compromise. Man's nature is filled with choice, and we are compromised. But God's love for us extends so far and so deep that He would have us with Him, despite our nature. But should this happen directly, would mean our destruction because God cannot abide Sin. The mercy and the grace of God, therefore, extended to us in the form of His Son, who as the sacrifice for all time, gave hope to all of God's people. And the choice for individuals is this: to have faith in God so that we may be saved, and at the same time, to be sealed with the Holy Spirit so that we may be sanctified and properly respond to God.

The Bible, as God's Word, is set up as the Old Testament and the New Testament, a singular document told with a linear viewpoint of time. And being a single document, both the OT and the NT describe the same two things: God's relationship with mankind, and mankind's relationship with each other. As a Christian, we should see our relationships with those two elements in mind: (1) worship as our relationship with God, and (2) missions as our relationship with the rest of mankind. And this is intimately related to the two Greatest Commandments - You shall love the Lord with all your heart, soul and mind, and love your neighbor as yourself. All of the Law and the Prophets hang on these two things (Matthew 22:40).

The reflection of the Glory of God, when we turn our faces toward Him in a spiritual act of worship and obedience, is the process by which we make fellowship with God and how we are sealed with the Holy Spirit. It is also directly connected to how we are to face the rest of the world, because as we are facing God, so then is God's glory being reflected off of our faces unto the rest of the world. It is THEN, that we can live up to the commands to love our enemies, to leave our mother and father (letting the dead bury the dead), to give up all our wealth, to die for the sake of others that they may live. None of these things make any sense, unless we are facing God first.

How we are to accomplish the missions aspect of our life depends entirely on whether we are facing God. This is why worship, as our response to God's nature, is so important. Worship will combine both aspects of the Greatest Commandment, and worship will mean fellowship with the Holy Spirit. And, when an individual faces God and sees the glory of God, the Bible says that the glory of God is a noticeable thing, and it changes both the person and those who view the person. When an individual chooses to turn and face God, so many things happen at once:

1. God's glory is not blocked by the person like a dark silhouette, but it is reflected outward and others can see it. A person who does not face God will be a dark eclipse and those people who are in the eclipse may not see God.

2. God's glory is not just reflected to others, but it is internalized by the person and that person is now changed as well. This is the process of sanctification, which does not come from us, but it comes from God. We are made perfect by God, not by what we do.

3. The person is making his or her spiritual act of worship, and

4. There is fellowship with God.

When Christians turn their faces toward the Lord, there is fellowship with God, and with that fellowship comes a resonance of God's glory. The resonance is what will affect other people, not what the Christian does, but what God's glory does. The resonance effect is definitely something that I will probably blog about in the future.

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So, I guess we can simplify everything I've said above into the following, which more or less explains the idea of a Christian response to God. It falls into two categories, Worship and Missions. HOWEVER, this is NOT to say that there aren't more categories that need explaining, but how long of a blog is this going to be?

Worship:
1. as our proper response to God's nature.
2. as our duty to God's command.
3. as our duty to love the Lord.
4. as our duty to love our neighbors as ourselves.
5. as part of the missional aspect of our lives.
6. as a means of fellowship with God through the Holy Spirit.
7. as a means of fellowship with other believers.
8. as a means of sanctification through the Holy Spirit.
9. as a means of sustaining ourselves, our food.
10. as a means of protecting ourselves from sin.
11. as a means of giving us joy, making us happy.
12. as a learning exercise, that we may know Truth from Falsehood.
13. as living sacrifices, that we may die to ourselves.
14. as a means of living by the Spirit.
15. that we may be humbled and be without pride.

Missions:
1. to usher in the new age of Jesus Christ (see Pastor Ed's diagram)
2. to fulfill and as part of our spiritual act of Worship.
3. to shine God's light where there is no light
4. to help save others, as we have been saved
5. to love others as ourselves, as we have been commanded
6. because God said so, directly and without equivocation.


-David